The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
