forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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