I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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