some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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