After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Green mimosas i think yes
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
