She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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