What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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