Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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