Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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