hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
