Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
