That's intense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
