Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
