Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
