You can't motorboat a personality
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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