I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
