brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've blown a few things in my day
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
