i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
