I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
