if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
