today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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