I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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