Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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