Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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