Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
