I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
