I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So vagazzling was a success
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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