you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
