i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
