I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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