Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
