If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
