I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
