YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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