If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
