my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
