the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
