Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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