okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
