I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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