hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
A bitchslap is in order.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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