I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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