I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And then he peed in my hair
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
