There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
