She announced her abortion via fbk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
