you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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