Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
