Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
