I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
