Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
